mellaithwen: (Default)
[personal profile] mellaithwen
Title: Look After You
Chapters: One-shot
Rating: PG-13, Gen
Word Count: 1, 011
Summary: It's up to Sam to take care of his brother

Written for [livejournal.com profile] 15minuteficlets

 
If I don't say this now, I will surely break.
 
Sixty-three hours and forty minutes. That’s how long it took for the fever to break. Almost three days of sitting by his brother’s side with an ice cold washcloth, listening to the mutterings of one too out of it to notice his own honesty. It amazed Sam how easily Dean relayed information when his body was too busy trying to fight infection, fight viruses or cope with blood loss.
 
It was in those moments; Sam could know everything in the space of an hour. Find out his brother’s favourite colour, favourite animal, favourite childhood memory, true feelings regarding the hunt, their father, anyone and everyone they had ever met. The demon itself even. Sam had fought back the laugh to see that even now, ill as he was, Dean could still muster a string of curses when it came to the bastard who had destroyed his childhood.
 
And that wasn’t Sam’s own interpretation from a boy school in Stanford, and forced to listen to reason, and his inner psychiatrist. Oh no, Dean was the one who had complained. Two days in, already rambling, making no sense half the time, but giving Sam the distinct impression that his brother was melancholy. So sad, and he didn’t mean it in the dork-way. Or the pathetic way, but in the melancholy way. Where each sad sentence, slurred and barely audible made his heart constrict, and a lump formed in his throat while Dean’s voice went off on many tangents, all of which ending with a bittersweet silence, Sam could neither stomach, or be rid of.
 
An ill-Dean was an open book, pages ruffled but relatively untouched. Delicate paper covered in sensitive scripture, cautious calligraphy that span for pages and pages. Chapters of their lives, sometimes messy, hurried, but mostly readable. And mostly audible when Dean dare speak them aloud. Reading like he used to when Sam was younger, and he couldn’t get to sleep no matter how dark the room was, or how quiet the house became.
 
“An insomniac to the end, my little brother.”
 
A dying Dean, was more closed, book that is, than ever, but unaware Dean, while ill, while burning with fever, body betraying his innermost secrets, Sam found it all to be a bit much, and he berated his own selfishness. For so long he had urged his brother to speak, but the defence mechanisms gave no leeway, and with a deep hatred for chick flick moments, hugging, or bearing all to Dr Phil, Sam was left in the dark for too long.
 
But now if ever they opened, Dean’s eyes shone, glazed, pupils dilated, lips cracked, but still muttering about his breaking heart, the pieces cast aside, and hidden until the glue could be found.
 
It was a defence mechanism to never appear weak that had gotten them there, Sam by Dean’s bed, checking his pulse, breathing, watching his chest rise and fall, and waiting for him to rouse himself enough to take more medicine.
 
It was a defence mechanism, or rather, more of a defence, to do as he was told, and suck it up, soldier. It was a defence mechanism, that made Dean ignore the symptoms, or just ignore everything.
 
Aches and pains were no stranger to Dean Winchester, but Sam had seen him wincing and swallowing the pills that didn’t seem to work. Headaches were more Sam’s thing, but again, Dean was no stranger to them, and thus, took a little more than the recommended dose. No big deal. The coughing turned to hacking before Sam almost exploded in his brother’s face, hating the reminder of almost losing Dean as he rubbed his chest, large hands straying over his heart, shoulders popping back, as he tried to alleviate the pressure and discomfort.
 
Dean had continued his quest for stupidity and hiding his hurt, until finally that first morning as the fever began to set in slowly, he had collapsed. Sam had seen his brother fall too many times to count, and almost ninety-percent of the time, he got back up. He might fall later on, and his father would carry him back to the motel room, his son’s head resting beneath his neck, body bent, and almost broken laid out on the rank sheets as a young Sam waited in the corner, wringing his hands, and panicking to no end.
 
Dean always tried to get up, at some point. But this time, he stayed down. Stayed still, spread eagle on the tarmac outside of the motel room door, something Sam counted himself lucky for, as his brother’s muscle was a bitch to carry long distance. A bitch to carry full stop. Not that he was any better. He could remember so many instances where as a gangly teen, prone to attacks for some reason, Dean had been forced to carry his brother to safety, grumbling all the way while the shots resounded in the distance as their father killed the beast, or exorcised the demon, salted the spirit...
 
But that was extreme fatigue for you. Seldom does it let you get up, and Dean had been trying to ignore it best he could. The sudden tiredness nagging away at him until his body had had enough and demanded he give in.
 
Sam had to keep a close tab on it, the virus; the influenza. It could lead to pneumonia, respiratory failure, and could turn life threatening in the space of a minute, a minute, too short for any EMT’s to get to them. But a hospital visit too soon would drain their dwindling money supply and ignite an unwanted fury Dean. He did hate the places after all. Which left the motel as the only option. Curtains closed should Dean wake up suddenly, and Sam knew from experience that the light from the summer sun would not be appreciated in the slightest. His own bed was still perfectly unruffled and not slept in. He had stayed by his brother’s side, falling asleep as his head rested on his forearms by the side of the bed, and he would do so until Dean himself could wake up and complain about the close vicinity his brother had occupied.
 
But Dean kept quiet, and in silence, Sam worried.

-Fin

Second one done for 'fatigue'



Date: 2006-05-22 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] relativity1953.livejournal.com
Aww, Sam looking after big brother Dean is always a good read. This was a great one! Though, I would have liked to hear some of those secrets and favorites of Dean's.

Date: 2006-05-22 11:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] staceey.livejournal.com
Awww little bro looking after big bro, dont get to see that very often despite it happening in the show. I enjoyed this. :)

Date: 2006-05-22 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
So, I'll join in with the "aww-ing." Hee.

I don't know why, but I really liked these lines: An ill-Dean was an open book, pages ruffled but relatively untouched. Delicate paper covered in sensitive scripture, cautious calligraphy that span for pages and pages. Chapters of their lives, sometimes messy, hurried, but mostly readable. And mostly audible when Dean dare speak them aloud.

They're quite poetic and describe Dean very well. :)

Date: 2006-05-24 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
in Welsh as much as its bursting my own bubble, I rock at poetry (I won the chair for gods sake) but in English it all comes out suicidal and depressing

Pssh. Your English is better than a lot of people I know.

Oh, and before I forget, what does the Welsh quote on your userpage mean?

Date: 2006-05-24 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
Thanks for translating that. :) I was curious about it, so I figured I should ask. (And lucky you being bilingual. The best I can manage is broken German. Welsh is such a pretty language too.)

Date: 2006-05-24 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
Broken English? Broken? *shocked* Again I repeat: Your English is better than a lot of native speakers around here. Hell, you can write fanfic in English...Again: Lucky you. ;)

Date: 2006-05-24 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
Your fingers are purple?! Ack! *throws gloves at you*

*gapes* 10,072?! Geez, I've got one that's about 3500, and I was flipping out, thinking that was too long. Wow...10K words in a oneshot. *jaw drops*

Date: 2006-05-24 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
It's the end of May, too! The world's just messing with you.

Hmm...yeah. I've seen some people break a oneshot up into two parts, but even then it'd still be pretty long. (And how many stories are you working on right now, anyway? Every time I talk to you, you have a different story in progress. Crazy, crazy...)

Date: 2006-05-24 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
I guess you could always turn it into a short story. Like, a five chaptered one or something short like that. Then it wouldn't seem so big if you broke it up into smaller chapters. But, that's your call, of course.

3, not including the gazillion one-shots...thats the DA one, story fic thing that kinda hating, and this one-shot thingy

Wow. You're a busy girl! I've got to get working on a long fic again (like "Crescendo") but all my ideas just don't seem to work the way I'd like them to. Argh. Frustration. :P

Date: 2006-05-24 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
(I've got two more of those to get done, I need to kill Sam...)

lol! Really? You too? Because I was actually saying to my sister the other day, "Well, I've killed Dean off twice, but no Sam death fics yet..." (How morbid is that?!)

Oh yeah, no more lizards! I've got this longer oneshot (the 3500 word one I was just talking about) that could be made into a bigger fic, but it's just...it's so...different that I'm afraid to take the risk on making it into a bigger one. And oh yeah, the DA crossover! *grins* No sound? That sucks majorly. The only version I have of Pollo Loco is a really old VCR tape that's scratchy...otherwise I'd pass it along. :(

Date: 2006-05-25 02:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
Oh, Sam is definitely harder to kill. I don't know about you, but I think it's Dean's reaction to Sam's death that's going to be tough for me. Because Dean's normally so stoic, but it's his Sammy we're talking about so...It just gets messy.

...but come, you gotta take risks dude!

Ee...this one? Yeah, this oneshot that I was talking about feels like it's a big risk. I asked my sister about it and even she was kinda skeptical. I'll have to tell you about it in email just to see what you think.

And watching's not bad because damn, he still looks friggin' creepy!

Date: 2006-05-25 04:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
He's the prettiest psycho killer I've ever seen though.

(But when he does that creepy little, "I'm going to kill you" smile? *shudder*)

Date: 2006-05-25 04:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixel-0.livejournal.com
Hee. Here is Ben hunting, and here is Ben looking angry/creepy.

And this was the episode that secured my love for Jensen because daamn...that boy acted his ass off for this episode.

Date: 2006-05-22 11:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemmealone.livejournal.com
Ah, this is one of my favourite scenarios in fic, and I can never get enough of it. Beautiful, thank you!

Date: 2006-05-23 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alieneyes.livejournal.com
I'm with lemmealone about this being a favorite scenario.
Sick people are just so fun to read about, no matter the fandom.

I liked this, thank you.

Date: 2006-05-23 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alieneyes.livejournal.com
If in any situation Dean's name is mentioned, it becomes better.

So remember that when you are typing up that essay an hour before class, just add "Dean" a bunch of times, and you will be fine. (You may even get a A+ if the teacher happens to be a fangirl/guy)

Date: 2006-05-24 04:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moonlightstorm.livejournal.com
But Dean kept quiet, and in silence, Sam worried.

*wibble* Aw, man. This was great. ♥
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-01-25 08:44 pm (UTC)
ext_16275: (Default)
From: [identity profile] legoline.livejournal.com
I LOVE the comparison with the book and the chapters and the pages...

This was a great read. Really. Loved it.

Date: 2007-10-17 03:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skyebanshee.livejournal.com
An ill-Dean was an open book, pages ruffled but relatively untouched.

*loved* that line.

This is beautifully written and flows so well and I love that last image. Sam sitting by the bed, head bowed just willing his brother to wake up and be well.

Awesome

Date: 2008-08-24 10:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com
Beautiful...

*hugs*

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